Jovireh Velal
Security & Tactical
[TI18]
Posts: 2,609 Likes: 55
Rank: Senior Chief Petty Officer
Position: Chief of Security/Tactical
Species: Betazoid/Romulan
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Post by Jovireh Velal on Dec 29, 2020 3:05:10 GMT
[Crewman Jovireh Velal - Front Ear - XO's Office]Jov breathed a small sigh of relief as the Commander agreed that her concerns of being a suspect had been warranted. At least that part hadn't just been her paranoia. "It was a relief when the Commodore didn't seem inclined to follow that particular lead," she replied with a wry smile. Though she would have felt a lot safer if he had at least pretended to and sent her to the brig like she had suggested... But that was neither here nor there. When Judy commended her for reporting the murder regardless of the potential, she gave a small shrug. It hadn't exactly been a difficult decision for her. "Not reporting it never occurred to me." She replied simply. "I knew I was innocent. Not reporting it and trying to pretend that I knew nothing about it would have only made that more difficult to prove." She never understood why people tried to cover up things that they hadn't actually done out of fear of being held responsible. It only made it that much harder to find the actual guilty party. "I've also never been very good at hiding things. There are things I don't enjoy talking about, but I don't have any secrets. I'm not looking to change that now." Part of it was the way her mother had raised her with open honesty, and with both her parents being telepaths there was really no point in trying to hide anything from them. When she did try to keep something a secret, she just became too paranoid about it being discovered and usually ended up giving herself away. It was much easier to just live life in the open.
Tag Judith Eastman
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Judith Eastman
Civilian
Grandma
Posts: 2,593 Likes: 84
Rank: Civilian/other
Position: Civil Servant
Species: Human
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Post by Judith Eastman on Dec 29, 2020 19:32:26 GMT
[Cmdr. Judith Eastman(-Williams) - First Officer's Office]Judy nodded. She could certainly approve of the sentiments of honesty that Jovireh expressed. "That's very wise. Very few people are actually as good at lying as they think they are - and the ones that are good at lying are all in politics," she commended, weaving in a little joke. She took a sip of water before continuing. "The reports mentioned that you volunteered yourself to be taken into custody," she pointed out, with a curious tone.
Tag Jovireh Velal
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Jovireh Velal
Security & Tactical
[TI18]
Posts: 2,609 Likes: 55
Rank: Senior Chief Petty Officer
Position: Chief of Security/Tactical
Species: Betazoid/Romulan
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Post by Jovireh Velal on Dec 29, 2020 22:57:51 GMT
[Crewman Jovireh Velal - Front Ear - XO's Office]Jov chuckled a little at the mention of politicians. That did seem to be a rather universal truth, didn't it? When the Commander brought up the offer she had made to the Commodore, her grin broadened. Finally she had an answer that didn't make her sound paranoid. "That was more of a strategic suggestion than anything. When a criminal of any species believes the investigation is going away from them, they are more likely to relax and get sloppy. I also believed the Talorians would be more likely to cooperate if they were under the impression that the investigation was focused on the Starfleet crew rather than their own people. At the time I was the only viable suspect, so I was the logical choice." Oh great, she went from sounding emotionally unstable to sounding like a Vulcan. This conversation just kept getting better and better.
Tag Judith Eastman
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Judith Eastman
Civilian
Grandma
Posts: 2,593 Likes: 84
Rank: Civilian/other
Position: Civil Servant
Species: Human
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Post by Judith Eastman on Dec 30, 2020 22:19:38 GMT
[Cmdr. Judith Eastman(-Williams) - First Officer's Office]Judy wasn't quite sure how to react to the sound of rock-solid Vulcan logic. "That's quite logical indeed," she said, consciously resisting the urge to crack some irreverent joke of the kind command-level officers weren't allowed to tell. However, she could ask questions about the decision-making process that worked to this logic in real time. "You know, it's impressive that you managed to think with such a cool head under the pressures you were in. That's something that really doesn't come easily to a lot of folks," she pointed out, putting her curiosity into a compliment.
Tag Jovireh Velal
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Jovireh Velal
Security & Tactical
[TI18]
Posts: 2,609 Likes: 55
Rank: Senior Chief Petty Officer
Position: Chief of Security/Tactical
Species: Betazoid/Romulan
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Post by Jovireh Velal on Dec 31, 2020 5:55:01 GMT
[Crewman Jovireh Velal - Front Ear - XO's Office]Jov couldn't help but grin at the Commander's reaction to her reasoning behind the unusual request. "Thank you. I have to attribute it some to being a telepath... My father spent a great deal of time teaching me mental control. Then came six years of weekly counseling sessions to learn emotional control... Followed by three years of working promenade security on Starbase 173 to learn how to analyze situations quickly." It was something she hadn't given much thought to before, but looking back she realized that not everyone would be able to analyze the situation and decide the best course of action in the few minutes it had taken the Commodore to respond to her her call. That was something she could be proud of, at least.
Tag Judith Eastman
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Judith Eastman
Civilian
Grandma
Posts: 2,593 Likes: 84
Rank: Civilian/other
Position: Civil Servant
Species: Human
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Post by Judith Eastman on Dec 31, 2020 19:50:34 GMT
[Cmdr. Judith Eastman(-Williams) - First Officer's Office]Judy nodded, although her roundabout phrasing didn't elicit quite the answer to the question she hadn't asked. "That's a very helpful skill to have, and one that took me far too long to develop," she complimented, alluding to her own background. For much of her career as an engineer, most of her major dilemmas had time horizons of weeks, if not months, and she had gotten quite spoiled. However, this wasn't about her. "What's really impressive, to me, is that in that moment, as you were dealing with the murder of a friend, and the real risk that you'd get nailed for it, in that moment you thought so coolly, dare I say dispassionately. That's unusual."Judy's words were of praise, but the tone was equal parts impressed and concerned.
Tag Jovireh Velal
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Jovireh Velal
Security & Tactical
[TI18]
Posts: 2,609 Likes: 55
Rank: Senior Chief Petty Officer
Position: Chief of Security/Tactical
Species: Betazoid/Romulan
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Post by Jovireh Velal on Dec 31, 2020 20:22:38 GMT
[Crewman Jovireh Velal - Front Ear - XO's Office]Job's smile faded a little as the real question became more apparent. She paused and released a soft sigh. It was one question she didn't have the answer to. "Honestly... I don't have an explanation for that." Another pause as she thought back to that moment. "I wasn't calm. I was panicking, my thoughts were racing so fast I couldn't even keep them straight. Guess that was just one of the many trains that passed through my mind." Hopefully that explanation would make sense to the Commander, because it was the only one she had.
Tag Judith Eastman
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Judith Eastman
Civilian
Grandma
Posts: 2,593 Likes: 84
Rank: Civilian/other
Position: Civil Servant
Species: Human
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Post by Judith Eastman on Jan 1, 2021 18:25:42 GMT
[Cmdr. Judith Eastman(-Williams) - First Officer's Office]Judy took another sip. This sounded more and more like a coping mechanism, a way for Jovireh to isolate herself from a chaotic world. "Is it something that happens to you often? Settling on the logical course of action exactly when you are... as you said, panicking?" she asked. Granted, an affirmative answer implied that Jovireh panicked on a regular basis, which Judy didn't mean to get at. She took another of the rugelach, relishing the moderate sweetness.
Tag Jovireh Velal
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Jovireh Velal
Security & Tactical
[TI18]
Posts: 2,609 Likes: 55
Rank: Senior Chief Petty Officer
Position: Chief of Security/Tactical
Species: Betazoid/Romulan
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Post by Jovireh Velal on Jan 1, 2021 18:43:21 GMT
[Crewman Jovireh Velal - Front Ear - XO's Office]Jovireh paused again, as while the answer itself was simple, she felt the Commander deserved to have more information that would explain it. "I know you're aware of the conditions for my enlistment, " It wasn't meant to be defensive, mainly stating that the information was in her file, and any commanding officer worth the title would have read the files of those under their command. "The Board had every right to be concerned I was a danger to myself and anyone I served with. I had no emotional control, and was completely consumed by my anger and grief. It took a couple years of weekly therapy for me to even begin to learn to resort more healthy coping skills, let alone actively use them when needed." That was the real reason she had spent six years at the Academy as opposed to the standard four. "Part of that was learning that my emotions can't always be trusted, especially if I don't express and manage them properly. Part of learning how to control my emotional impulses was teaching myself to analyze situations before reacting to them." Most of the time it was thoughts like - Did that person intentionally lash out at her, or were they just having a bad day? But consciously change your thought process enough times and it becomes instinctual, like after finding the body of a friend.
Tag Judith Eastman
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Judith Eastman
Civilian
Grandma
Posts: 2,593 Likes: 84
Rank: Civilian/other
Position: Civil Servant
Species: Human
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Post by Judith Eastman on Jan 2, 2021 17:06:51 GMT
[Cmdr. Judith Eastman(-Williams) - First Officer's Office]And there they had it, the bedrock issues that put Jovireh in this position to begin with. Judy listened intently, compassionately, punctuated with the occasional nod or adjustment of her spectacles. "So far, I have to say, the techniques have been working. You've been a credit to this crew, and - excepting the incident in sickbay - your record has been spotless."Judy was evidently not aware that, just minutes before she first met Jovireh, the younger woman had hit the bulkhead. Nevertheless, she felt this system had faults to it. "What I worry about is whether you're burning yourself out."She took another bite.
Tag Jovireh Velal
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Jovireh Velal
Security & Tactical
[TI18]
Posts: 2,609 Likes: 55
Rank: Senior Chief Petty Officer
Position: Chief of Security/Tactical
Species: Betazoid/Romulan
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Post by Jovireh Velal on Jan 2, 2021 17:26:37 GMT
[Crewman Jovireh Velal - Front Ear - XO's Office]Jovireh bit the inside of her lip, knowing full well that there had been more incidents that happened while off duty, and never got reported. She had always wondered about T'Karra's willingness to not mention her outburst when they first met. It was very un-Vulcan-like, but she always appreciated the other woman for it. Then there was the time she broke Conor's nose... But that was entirely an accident, so it didn't really count, right? But both of those had occurred within her first week on the station, so she didn't feel the need to raise concern by mentioning them now. When the Commander mentioned her concern about burnout, Jovireh nodded in understanding. That was something her counselor had expressed concerns about frequently. "I do my best to enjoy my days off. Spending time in the gym helps me process my emotions in a safe and controlled manner. I've been helping a friend strengthen and explore her telepathic abilities. I take my cat to the Park sometimes. And I contact my counselor when there's something that I'm not able to deal with on my own." She hoped that would help alleviate Judy's concerns, as she wasn't sure how else to.
Tag Judith Eastman
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Judith Eastman
Civilian
Grandma
Posts: 2,593 Likes: 84
Rank: Civilian/other
Position: Civil Servant
Species: Human
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Post by Judith Eastman on Jan 2, 2021 20:07:37 GMT
[Cmdr. Judith Eastman(-Williams) - First Officer's Office]After being cleared of food, Judy's mouth turned to an approving smile. "That's very good to hear. Too many young fleeters have no sense of work-life balance. Even setting aside everything that you in particular have to work through, it's healthy to do things off shift, outside of the uniform," she said, passing down advice that, as obvious as it was, numerous members of this crew needed to hear and heed. "But that's easy for me to say; I have my grandchildren."It really didn't take a genius to figure out that Judy cared more about the title of "Grandma" than she did about "Commander" or any other honorific. The number of photos on the walls of this room, featuring the XO surrounded by little kids, told that story quite well. "Now, is there anything you'd like to talk about? Anything you'd like to ask, or tell me?"
Tag Jovireh Velal
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Jovireh Velal
Security & Tactical
[TI18]
Posts: 2,609 Likes: 55
Rank: Senior Chief Petty Officer
Position: Chief of Security/Tactical
Species: Betazoid/Romulan
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Post by Jovireh Velal on Jan 2, 2021 23:31:42 GMT
[Crewman Jovireh Velal - Front Ear - XO's Office]Jov chuckled softy at the reminder that many of the crew did not take up hobbies during their off time. It was something she had noticed as well, and never understood. "It doesn't make one less capable to enjoy personal time we're forced to take." She stated simply. The young woman might have a different view if their days off weren't regularly scheduled and mandatory, but since they were she saw no point in not enjoying them. "I also learned pretty early on that spending too much time alone in my quarters does nothing but allow my thoughts to spiral viciously. That's why I chose to go to Sickbay to await questioning, asides from the concern of being found alone." There was a flicker of guilt that maybe if she had been an available target, Relan wouldn't have gone after Kaya... But there was absolutely no point in dwelling on that now. When the Commander asked if there was anything else she wanted to talk about, she paused, going over their entire conversation in her mind. They had pretty much covered her entire life story, if you included the conversations about being raised on a ship they'd had during the tour. There was only one piece of vital information missing. "My father was killed when I was twenty. Our science vessel was attacked by raiders. We all made it to the escape pods, but instead of joining us he chose to go back and try to save his research. He didn't make it out in time." That was the source of her anger and turmoil, and the reason she had given the Board reason to doubt her. "Our pods were rescued by a Starfleet vessel that received our distress call. They brought us to Earth, where my mother and I decided to settle down. The recent trauma on top of living planet-side for the first time in my life... And the fact that I had never even met a human before then... Needless to say it was a very rough year for me. Joining Starfleet was my decision to make something out of my life, find a purpose for my continued existence, and have a career that would make my father proud, even if he wasn't around to see it." There. That was Jovireh Velal, and all the messy anger and pain that made her who she was. At this point, she was fairly certain the Commander knew her better than anyone else on the station. For some reason... Jov was okay with that. It was reassuring to know that her background could be taken into consideration if there were any future incidents, and meetings like this wouldn't be necessary again.
Tag Judith Eastman
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Judith Eastman
Civilian
Grandma
Posts: 2,593 Likes: 84
Rank: Civilian/other
Position: Civil Servant
Species: Human
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Post by Judith Eastman on Jan 3, 2021 1:21:36 GMT
[Cmdr. Judith Eastman(-Williams) - First Officer's Office]If there was one thing Judy had learned from the war, and especially from the year or so immediately after the war, it was the grief process. She could tell that Jovireh had grieved, quite deeply, and so she listened, trying to put herself in the young woman's shoes. "That sounds deeply painful, and very difficult," she said softly, and then paused to let the words sit. "That kind of grief could paralyze a person for a lifetime. You should be proud - very proud - of yourself for every day you spend out here, for every day when you're doing something good, and for every day when you're happy, because all of that is an accomplishment. I think your father would be proud of you, and I know that I am proud of you."Judy knew that a few words from a superior officer were nowhere near enough to make up for the loss of a parent, and she wasn't trying to. What she did attempt to do was to present herself as someone Jov could go to for support, for advice, for whatever the young woman needed; she wanted to make it clear that she was in her corner.
Tag Jovireh Velal
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Jovireh Velal
Security & Tactical
[TI18]
Posts: 2,609 Likes: 55
Rank: Senior Chief Petty Officer
Position: Chief of Security/Tactical
Species: Betazoid/Romulan
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Post by Jovireh Velal on Jan 3, 2021 3:10:01 GMT
[Crewman Jovireh Velal - Front Ear - XO's Office]The reassurance that she should be proud of herself for how she's moved on, in spite of how poorly she had handled the grief at first, was a pep talk she was familiar with. However it was something that she still needed to be reminded of every now and then, so she nodded and smiled in gratitude and appreciation. The Commander's final statement, however, stunned her, momentarily rendering her speechless. She knew her father would be proud of her; her mother never let a conversation end without reminding her of such. But hearing that her commanding officer was also proud of her had been completely unexpected, and she wasn't sure how to respond. She also hadn't expected the words to effect her as strongly as they did, so her gaze dropped to the table as she took a slow breath, fighting back the lump that suddenly formed in her throat. When she raised her gaze back to the older woman after a few moments, she knew that words weren't enough, but words were all she had. "Thank you. That... really means a lot to me. And I can't thank you enough for taking the time and giving me the chance to explain everything. I know many commanders would have taken the situation as it appeared on paper and written me off as unstable and unreliable. It also means a lot that you didn't." Her previous superior officers had certainly never made an attempt to get to know her on a more personal level. She either followed the set standards of a Starfleet member, or she didn't, and reasons for failing expectations didn't matter. It was relieving to know that at least here, mortality wasn't a fatal sin.
Tag Judith Eastman
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