[NPC - Lt. (j.g.) Yvonna Teller-Wright - Counseling Office - Frontier Station]


Yvonna rolled her eyes at the sight of the viewscreen. She had been through this way too many times before to be nearly as gullible as this hoser wished she was. "Jesus Murphy!" she exclaimed cutting him off. "Do you have a bunch of twelve year olds working in your office?" Yvonna shook her head and quickly began to speak, not giving the guy the chance to answer. "Forget it. Bottom line... not a Tellarite. Stopped being funny after the third time. Fix it, or I'll fix you. Central Records is easier to find than most people think. It's literally a question on the counselor's exam." The last comment seemed to wipe the smirk off of his face. Yvonna ended the comm. What she'd said about the exam had been a lie, but clearly he didn't know that.

Yvonna checked the chronometer. She only had a few minutes left before her next appointment. She walked back over to her desk and skimmed the file on the padd. "Lieutenant Niles," she said. She had read through his file earlier. There had been a few incidents of note, the recent having to do with something that happened on Arkaria last week. Nodding she walked over to her shelf upon which there were several candles. She scanned them, attempting to decide which would be the best for this session. For a moment she was torn between vanilla and lavender, but eventually decided upon the latter.

She lifted the candles from the shelf and brought it closer to the sitting area. She then picked up an match, slid the head along the lighting strip and produce the flame. She then light the pair of candles and blew out the flame on the match before discarding it into a waste basket. Yvonna still believed in traditional aromatherapy, and thought that this could help her session with Lieutenant Niles be productive. She saw her notebook and ink pen were exactly where she needed them to be. She could always scan her notes into the computer later. Nearly content with the setting before collecting her patient, another thought came to Yvonna's mind. "Computer, decrease illumination to 85%," she said. The lights dimmed only slightly to appear more natural. Satisfied, Yvonna moved towards the door.

As she reached the entrance, the doors slid open. She could see that if anything, Mr. Niles was punctual. "Lieutenant?" she said to capture the man's attention. "You can come in, now." She took a few steps back to grant the man entrance. She watched as he approached, still offering a welcoming smile. He was easily a quarter of a meter taller than she was. As he got closer, she extended her hand towards him to greet him. "Yvonna Teller-Wright." This was the part she hated with a passion. Damn her parents.

"I know," she said beginning her usual explanation. "I blame my parents. I'm pretty flexible with how people choose to address me. If you're feeling formal, Counselor is fine. If you prefer things to be more relaxed, Yvonna is fine." She then gestured towards a pair of chairs further into the room. "Please, have a seat. Do you prefer Joshua or Josh?" She thought it best to start there. Maybe it would help Mr. Niles relax if only initially. She really didn't care to refer to him by his rank the entire session. Still, if that's what he wanted....

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Tag: Joshua Niles  

[NPC - Lt. (j.g.) Yvonna Teller-Wright - Counseling Office - Frontier Station]


The first exchange between people was a feeling out process. What did Yvonna perceive from Josh thus far? Well, she wouldn't say that it was anything concrete. She'd certainly learn more about him the longer they spoke. Though, for starters, he was either aloof or considerate. There was no snort or chortle at the pronunciation of her name. In fact, he claimed not to follow. "Right," was her own response with a smile. There was no judgement here. That certainly wasn't her job. If anything, she was more interested in how Josh judged himself.

As he chose his seat, Yvonna began to move towards the replicator. She noticed he started formal, but opted for personal in addressing her. Interesting. Not his choice, but that he would correct himself from default. He also didn't seem to have any preference between Josh and Joshua, but was that humor in not calling him 'late for dinner.' Perhaps he deserved points for trying. There were some people that dreaded counseling sessions and had no qualms about making that fact known. "Cute," she commented. She turned her attention tot he replicator in front of her. "One triple-double[fn]enhanced double-double; black coffee with two creams, two sugars, two marshmallows, the latter Yvonna's personal touch[/fn]. And a spoon." She always felt the need to stir it personally, otherwise she swore it didn't taste right.

"Would you care for something to drink? A snack?" Yvonna asked. It was in part to being an attentive host, but also wanting to establish a level of comfort and subconsciously a rapport with Josh. She waited for his response, but saw no reason not to begin to delve into things. "So, Josh," she began, "what brings you here today?" Again, she'd read his file, but she didn't want to assume anything. The only way to help Josh with whatever he may be struggling with began with him defining what that was in his own words.

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Tag: Joshua Niles

[NPC - Lt. (j.g.) Yvonna Teller-Wright - Counseling Office - Frontier Station]


Yvonna nodded as Josh took her up on her offer for something to drink. As for the drink itself, well, it was something that Yvonna certainly couldn't stomach. She had a real aversion to the taste alone. It's why she loaded her coffee with nearly everything possible to stifle what she thought was a bitter taste. It was why she had programmed it within the first hour of arriving on the station. It was actually a
T.W. Triple-double" in the system, but luckily the computer had recognized her verbal shorthand thus far without incident. "Large coffee, black," she said. She watched as the mug materialized. Almost instantly, did her nostrils expand at the scent of the rich blend. If anything, just from his selection of his beverage, she'd presume that he was tolerant. Perhaps that played a role in his being here as well. People that saw themselves as tolerant typically put more on their shoulders than normal. Sometimes, that could be incredibly taxing emotionally.

As she picked up his mug and began to approach the chairs, he answered her question, without answering it. He said that it was a long list. Perhaps his defenses were still up. It was clear that he didn't want to be a burden. Yvonna would just have to try a bit harder to prove that he wasn't. She held out the mug for him to accept as she approached. "Well, the good thing about lists is that there's a beginning, an end, and we can start at any point on it." Settling into the seat near Josh's, Yvonna turned her eyes upon him while stirring the contents of her mug. After a few turns, she eventually brought it to her lips and sipped from it. She nodded approvingly and then sat it down on the table in front of her, giving her attention to the tactical officer.

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Tag: Joshua Niles

[NPC - Lt. (j.g.) Yvonna Teller-Wright - Counseling Office - Frontier Station]


As the tactical officer spoke, he admitted that he honestly had no idea where to begin. That was natural. A narrated reflection of oneself was typically in the eye of the beholder. It was up to Josh to be the guide on that journey, and Yvonna was more than content to begin wherever he decided to begin. Of course, Yvonna got the impression that it wasn't going to be as simple as that, as Josh stated that he didn't enjoy repeating the same thing over and over to different people. He then asked exactly how much did she know. What she wanted to know, was why? What had brought him to that particular reaction?

"Did you just raise shields on me?" Yvonna asked. It was likely a metaphor that he could closely relate to, and it was a gamble to switch gears as she had. Yet, she was hoping she could convince him of what had transpired between them, and hopefully together they could figure out why. "Josh, I'm going to answer your question, but first I want you to know that I came into this session with no preconceived notions. I have access to your records... mission reports... commentary from ranking officers. What I don't know, is what you think about yourself in the aftermath of all of that." Yvonna took a deep breath as she sat opposite Josh.

"I take it you're familiar with the phrase that there are two sides to every story," Yvonna continued. "Well, I think that truths are reconciled somewhere between those two sides. So, I know their side and their interpretation of those events. I think it's time we heard yours. Who is Joshua Niles?"

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Tag: Joshua Niles

[NPC - Lt. (j.g.) Yvonna Teller-Wright - Counseling Office - Frontier Station]


It hadn't been intentional, but Yvonna felt as if she may have put Josh on the defensive. That could be counter-productive, but it could also be illuminating. Whatever his response, she knew this was a chance to learn about Josh from Josh and not some file in a PADD. She could see the tremble in his hand. If she recalled correctly, that was the prosthetic. Her eyes weren't as attentive on that as it was his face. He averted his gaze, looking down at seemingly no where in particular. It was instinctive to back off, but perhaps this is where she should double down. If Josh was reacting to the way he believed others interpreted him, it was even more important for him to define his own image.

"I don't see why not," Yvonna pointed out. "He's a tactical officer. A Starfleet lieutenant. I mean, that's nothing to balk at. I mean, I'm not one to count pips, but he's kicking my ass." Yvonna smiled slightly as she clasped her hands together and rested them on her lap. "So, why is it so hard to look him in the eye?" She allowed the question to linger a bit before adding just a bit more. "He's human. Despite popular belief, we aren't a very majestic species. Is it what you would see that bothers you, or what you wouldn't?"

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Tag: Joshua Niles

[NPC - Lt. (j.g.) Yvonna Teller-Wright - Counseling Office - Frontier Station]


One could say that this was progress. Josh was at least opening up about what was bothering him, however there was quite a lot to unpack with what he'd said. It seemed that he had internalized a lot of his frustration, or at least that was what Yvonna assumed. He seemed to be under the impression that he couldn't do anything right, and venturing out of his comfort zone had not gone well at all apparently. He also believed himself to be a burden to others, which only compounded the situation. Then, he actually gave himself a label: killer. Though the most concerning thing was that he stated he had no problems with it. At the moment, Yvonna wasn't sure if those feelings were simply accepting labels that had been thrown his way, or if he truly believed that. Naturally, she aimed to find out.

"Is that really how you see yourself, Josh?" Yvonna asked. "Stupid... an idiot... a burden... a screw up... a killer?" Yvonna took a deep breath as she picked up her pen and notepad, writing down the descriptors that Joshua had given himself. "I actually think you do have a problem with each of those labels. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here. Why don't we start with the latter: killer. Why are you calling yourself a killer?"

"Is it because you're planning to kill someone, or because you've killed someone before?" Yvonna asked. She made certain that her question was even an unwavering. She didn't want her emotions to influence Josh's answer to that question. She simply looked in his direction, waiting for his answer. While each of the labels he'd given himself could be damning to his self-image, the idea that he saw himself as a killer could be a very dangerous psychological precipice. One that she wanted desperately to pull him back from if it were possible.

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Tag: Joshua Niles

[NPC - Lt. (j.g.) Yvonna Teller-Wright - Counseling Office - Frontier Station]


As Josh recounted the events, Yvonna found herself listening intently. She was familiar with the recount what had happened to the crew of that merchant vessel. "The Orumila," she interjected. In part to make certain her facts were straight, but also evidence that she was actively listening to what Josh was sharing. An attempt to establish validity to his words by listening, as well as further the level of trust between them. It wasn't what he said, but how he described it that was important. The crew of the merchant vessel had been butchered... that was the word Josh had chosen. Gutted. They had opened fired on the Mac and Josh had been ordered to return fire. 

As his tale went on, he described that the Talorian vessel was more fragile than initially expected. They clearly took on enough damage that they began to abandon ship. They were then forced to leave by Primary L'Sho and a Talorian armada. The blame had been placed upon them for the murder of Princess Orya along with the rest of that Talorian crew. It was here that Josh claimed responsibility for some of those deaths, and in the same breath claimed that he had no problem with it.

He even brought up the images from that mission, and warned Yvonna against viewing them. He even held some regret that the images were forever etched in his own mind. Yvonna swallowed and took a deep breath before speaking. "I was going to ask why you chose to become a tactical officer, but I think I already know. And feel free to correct me, but I think you're a protector by nature. You like to maintain safety and order. The thing is Josh, the universe is a place of chaos. In theory, we exist because of chaos." She wasn't about to delve into a discussion of the Big Bang, but went on with her point.

"You have a high sense of responsibility. It shows in how you report for duty when scheduled and how you follow orders. However, everything that happens while your on duty isn't your responsibility, Josh," Yvonna said. "The Talorians use of brutal guerilla tactics wasn't your responsibility. Commodore Perry, ordering you to fire on the Dias Irae, was not your responsibility. Primary L'Sho threatening the Mac so that you couldn't proceed with rescue operations was not your fault."

"You said you didn't have a problem with those Talorians dying after you opened fired on their vessel," Yvonna recalled. "However, it almost sounds like you regret not being able to save them. Those that were in the escape pods. All those Talorians you were attempting to transport aboard the Mac. If the loss of their lives doesn't bother you, you should be content with how things turned out, right?"

Yvonna paused a moment after asking the question, but wanted to be certain that Josh knew it was safe to answer honestly. "It's okay if you are," Yvonna said. "Violence can trigger a euphoric release; give us a thrill. In hockey, for instance. The crowd cheers when two players drop the gloves and go at one another. Seeing blood on the ice sparks an explosion of elation. For years, humans thrived on combat sports. We're not that different from Klingons. We can get off on violence as well in the moment." Yvonna allowed the words to linger. "It's the aftermath that many of us humans have trouble stomaching."

"If you were looking for justice when you confronted the Talorians, one could argue that you ultimately got it," Yvonna pointed out. "Every last one of them that was responsible for what happened aboard the Orumila is dead. You say that you're okay with that. Yet, sometimes when we get what we want, we find out that perhaps it's not exactly what we wanted after all. Despite what they had done, is it possible that you're really not okay with the karmic justice they ultimately received?"

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Tag: Joshua Niles