Post by Left Ear to-Ennien on Aug 22, 2021 3:13:31 GMT
When I was a kid, my sister and I found this website with all of these random Star Trek Top 10 Lists. I recently found a bunch of printouts and realized that most of them weren't nearly as funny as I remembered, but I thought I'd share a few of my favorites. There's also a list of Top 10 Lists that I thought it might be fun for us to come up with ourselves.
Top 10 rejected names for the next film First Contact (tells you how old these are!
)
10. ST: 3...2...1...CONTACT
9. ST: First Contract was the original title, but that was voided the previous year
8. ST: The Next Movie
7. ST: Here We Borg Again
6. ST: Journey Back to Earth Through Time-Warp Again
5. ST: Endless Voyages Through Space
4. ST: Riker's Waist Expansion Continues
3. ST: Picard Grows Hair
2. ST: Q Are You and What Are You Doing In This Movie?
1. ST: Second Contact didn't sound just right, maybe next time
Top 10 Rejected Phaser Settings
10. Lecture (stun setting only)
9. Global Warming
8. Deep Dish Pizza
7. Congressional Hearing
6. Tax Audit (this setting violates the Prime Directive)
5. IRS
4. Al Gore
3. Talk Show Host
2. Reheat
1. PMS!!!
Top 16 reasons Sisko is better than Picard
16. Nobody hates Jake
15. Sisko shaved his hair as opposed to losing it
14. Sisko doesn't pretend to be French while having an English accent
13. Picard was kidnapped by the Borg and nearly destroyed the Federation. Sisko saved the Federation from a war with the Klingons as well as Cardassia
12. He has Worf now, hahahahahahaha!
11. None of his officers have joined with their brother to try and destroy the Federation
10. Somehow, Sisko has managed a Starfleet career AND a family
9. Major Kira
8. Sisko's ship has a cloaking device!
7. Sisko punched Q once and we haven't seen him on DS9 since!
6. Sisko escaped the Jem'Hadar. Twice. Picard didn't escape the Borg!
5. Sisko still hasn't breached the Prime Directive, even though it's really stupid
4. Picard let the Enterprise get hijacked by the Ferengi. Sisko blackmailed one!
3. Sisko and Picard are both captains, but Sisko's also the Emissary!
2. Sisko cooks for his officers.
1. Sisko plays baseball in his free time. Picard tries to solve Fermat's Theorem.
Top 10 selling points of the USS Enterprise
10. 10 year or 10,000 light-year bumper to bumper warranty.
9. Discount on next starship purchase with each refill of dilithium crystals.
8. Comes complete with bald captain and blind engineer (child genius extra).
7. Conn and Ops side airbags.
6. Holodecks are great for showing off (NOTICE: holodecks are NOT covered by warranty).
5. Arboretum for when holodecks are malfunctioning.
4. Separates into two pieces for easy storage.
3. Fall-away bridge module designed to isolate itself in a collision
2. There are bathrooms. Honest!
1. Built in system designed to protect characters with recurring roles.
Top 10 things that would happen in a ST:TNG meets Star Wars movie
10. Yoda teaches Worf the ways of the Jedi; Worf teaches Yoda how to use a bat'leth.
9. R2-D2 and C-3PO plot to deactivate Data, steal his positronic net and adapt it to themselves.
8. Wesley drops out of the Academy after seeing a vision of his father, who tells him that his true destiny is to become a storm trooper.
7. Darth Vader joins forces with the Romulans to try to overthrow the Federation.
6. Darth Vader's forces are defeated when he flees Federation space in a desperate attempt to escape the amorous advances of Lwaxana Troi, who likes his heavy breathing.
5. Chewbacca can finally make some friends besides Han Solo because with the universal translator, he no longer needs Han to translate for him.
4. Troi is jealous of Leia because Leia is a real princess, while Troi's family is only Betazoid nobility, holders of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx.
3. After meeting C-3PO, Data decides he's tired of his green/white skin and figures out a way to take the Enterprise back to the late 20th century, where he searches for a product known as Coppertone.
2. Luke Skywalker joins his father to get revenge on Riker for stealing Princess Leia.
1. Worf mistakes the Ewoks for oversized Tribbles and hacks several of them to pieces before being taken to the brig.
Now it's our turn! Pick a list and write as few or as many as you want or come up with your own!
Top 10 rejected names for the next film First Contact (tells you how old these are!
)10. ST: 3...2...1...CONTACT
9. ST: First Contract was the original title, but that was voided the previous year
8. ST: The Next Movie
7. ST: Here We Borg Again
6. ST: Journey Back to Earth Through Time-Warp Again
5. ST: Endless Voyages Through Space
4. ST: Riker's Waist Expansion Continues
3. ST: Picard Grows Hair
2. ST: Q Are You and What Are You Doing In This Movie?
1. ST: Second Contact didn't sound just right, maybe next time
Top 10 Rejected Phaser Settings
10. Lecture (stun setting only)
9. Global Warming
8. Deep Dish Pizza
7. Congressional Hearing
6. Tax Audit (this setting violates the Prime Directive)
5. IRS
4. Al Gore
3. Talk Show Host
2. Reheat
1. PMS!!!
Top 16 reasons Sisko is better than Picard
16. Nobody hates Jake
15. Sisko shaved his hair as opposed to losing it
14. Sisko doesn't pretend to be French while having an English accent
13. Picard was kidnapped by the Borg and nearly destroyed the Federation. Sisko saved the Federation from a war with the Klingons as well as Cardassia
12. He has Worf now, hahahahahahaha!
11. None of his officers have joined with their brother to try and destroy the Federation
10. Somehow, Sisko has managed a Starfleet career AND a family
9. Major Kira
8. Sisko's ship has a cloaking device!
7. Sisko punched Q once and we haven't seen him on DS9 since!
6. Sisko escaped the Jem'Hadar. Twice. Picard didn't escape the Borg!
5. Sisko still hasn't breached the Prime Directive, even though it's really stupid
4. Picard let the Enterprise get hijacked by the Ferengi. Sisko blackmailed one!
3. Sisko and Picard are both captains, but Sisko's also the Emissary!
2. Sisko cooks for his officers.
1. Sisko plays baseball in his free time. Picard tries to solve Fermat's Theorem.
Top 10 selling points of the USS Enterprise
10. 10 year or 10,000 light-year bumper to bumper warranty.
9. Discount on next starship purchase with each refill of dilithium crystals.
8. Comes complete with bald captain and blind engineer (child genius extra).
7. Conn and Ops side airbags.
6. Holodecks are great for showing off (NOTICE: holodecks are NOT covered by warranty).
5. Arboretum for when holodecks are malfunctioning.
4. Separates into two pieces for easy storage.
3. Fall-away bridge module designed to isolate itself in a collision
2. There are bathrooms. Honest!
1. Built in system designed to protect characters with recurring roles.
Top 10 things that would happen in a ST:TNG meets Star Wars movie
10. Yoda teaches Worf the ways of the Jedi; Worf teaches Yoda how to use a bat'leth.
9. R2-D2 and C-3PO plot to deactivate Data, steal his positronic net and adapt it to themselves.
8. Wesley drops out of the Academy after seeing a vision of his father, who tells him that his true destiny is to become a storm trooper.
7. Darth Vader joins forces with the Romulans to try to overthrow the Federation.
6. Darth Vader's forces are defeated when he flees Federation space in a desperate attempt to escape the amorous advances of Lwaxana Troi, who likes his heavy breathing.
5. Chewbacca can finally make some friends besides Han Solo because with the universal translator, he no longer needs Han to translate for him.
4. Troi is jealous of Leia because Leia is a real princess, while Troi's family is only Betazoid nobility, holders of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx.
3. After meeting C-3PO, Data decides he's tired of his green/white skin and figures out a way to take the Enterprise back to the late 20th century, where he searches for a product known as Coppertone.
2. Luke Skywalker joins his father to get revenge on Riker for stealing Princess Leia.
1. Worf mistakes the Ewoks for oversized Tribbles and hacks several of them to pieces before being taken to the brig.
Now it's our turn! Pick a list and write as few or as many as you want or come up with your own!
- Top 10 bumper stickers seen on an Enterprise shuttle
- Top 10 things the Borg would never say
- Top 10 signs the Enterprise has picked up a bad ambassador
- Top 10 ways to annoy Worf
- It's gonna be a bad episode if...
- Top 10 rejected names of starships or starship classes
- Top 10 Ferengi t-shirts
- Top 10 minor misdemeanors aboard the Enterprise
- 10 reasons it's good to be Morn
- Top 10 Q pranks
- Top 10 pranks by Picard's yeoman
- Top 10 ways to tell that your parents are from the Q Continuum
- Top 10 Star Trek quotes
- Top 10 signs Star Trek has taken over your life
- Top 10 rejected time travel episodes
Risa
